Sunday, January 30, 2011


Yesterday my daughter went to a teammate's house for a pizza dinner. This girl's parents invited the three girls that are on the 2 relay teams, plus their families.
This family is so nice, so friendly, I almost feel like my cynical self doesn't even belong in the same city as them. I was going to take my son also, but he decided to stay home with his visiting dad and play with the ever-malfuntioning snow blower. So my daughter and I went, and she had a lovely time. She got to be with her teammates/friends in a non-pool environment, and I didn't have to cook. Of course, I was the only single one there. Three couples, and me. I felt like a total loser. No one made me feel this way, I just did. I'm not a big drinker, but all 6 of them partook in wine or vodka. They were chatty, loud, telling stories of their families, their kids' deliveries, their lives here, and all I could do is just sit there and nod. Now, I'd like to think I am a decent storyteller, but I just had nothing to say in this environment. I wanted to die. We had pizza, and dessert, and I just kept looking at the clock, wondering when I could leave and not seem rude or have my daughter feel jipped. A little before 9:00, I got her and told her it was time to go. She was ready, and we began to say our thanks and goodbyes. The hostess/mom got the rest of the cake that I brought, my daughter and I thanked them, and as I turned to go, I got one last glimpse of the scene: 6 good looking, in-love, happy, gregarious people laughing in the kitchen, a warm fire in the fireplace, 9 kids running around, and me, exiting into the cold night about to drive to my house where my estranged husband is probably sitting watching TV with our son. I "quiet cried" all the way home.

The "Worse" will be covered tomorrow...


  1. Was it all just "couples" talk, or did you just not feel like you were fitting in?

  2. Well, a bit of both. You know how couples have their own language, their own BODY language, just this rapport? It was like that. They were all nice, and it's not like I didn't talk at all, but the chasm had never been as glaring to me as it was Saturday night.

  3. Things aren't always what they seem, you know. This isn't to diminish what you feel, just to add more perspective. I am sure they have their own laundry, if you know what I mean. I hope this makes you feel a bit better.

    Furthermore, I can totally relate to being the singleton at a couples get-together.

    And one more thing: I am certain they didn't view you as a "loser" but, like everyone else who knows you, they probably see you as an exceptionally strong and beautiful woman!

  4. Oh, I know that what you see isn't always what you get. But what I'm seeing still makes me jealous and melancholy. Thank you for your kind words!!